The ABC’s of APT

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Here at Bromium Labs, we’re always striving to further our knowledge of the rapidly-changing attack landscape that threatens our enterprise customers. Over the past few months, our dedicated team of researchers have collectively developed a severe chemical dependency on caffeine in search of a paradigm to clearly define this landscape in a way that could benefit the security community as a whole. What they came up with is truly groundbreaking, and will go down in history as “The ABC’s of APT.”

As we all know, the term APT refers to an “Advanced Persistent Threat.” In our research, we realized each APT has unique behavior, and casting them all under one umbrella can be a slippery slope towards people marrying their television sets. For this reason, we devised our own paradigm that strips the broad term “APT” from threat diagnoses and, instead, categorizes them using a more specialized spectrum. Surprisingly, this spectrum happens to encompasses twenty-six different distinct behaviors – each of which can be represented using one letter of the alphabet. And, thus, The ABC’s of APT were born. Without further blabbering, here’s our finished diagnosis table:


APT (Advanced Persistent Threat) is the umbrella categorization for the following twenty-five threat diagnoses.
BPT (Bully Persistent Threat) is a type malware toolkit used by cyber-bullies to steal lunch money from their victims.
CPT (Cat Persistent Threat) is animal-loving malware that spams your screen with cat pictures.
DPT (Doge Persistent Threat) describes multi-module malware that is that is highly persistent.

DPT
So threat.

EPT (Environmental Persistent Threat) is a class of malware that hides any and all green pixels on your screen.
FPT (False Persistent Threat) is a myriad of benign software that your anti-virus misclassifies due to its outdated signature based detection mechanisms. Detection is dead, folks.
GPT (Government Persistent Threat) is a single malware that infects everybody. Also known as int* GPT[] = {&i, &i, &i, &i, &i}.
HPT (#PersistentThreat) is a type of botnet that is responsible for generating annoying Twitter trends.
IPT (iPersistentThreat ©) is a class of malware that charges an obscene amount of money to unlock basic operating system functionality.
JPT (Java Persistent Threat) is the Java browser plug-in.
KPT (Krebs Persistent Threat) any threats specifically targeting Brian Krebs.
LPT (LuLz Persistent Threat) any threats that are controlled by 12-year-old script-kiddies from HackForums.
MPT (Murder Persistent Threat) is any threat controlled by a murder. MPT’s will have an amount of realism that rivals this video.
NPT (Nickleback Persistent Threat) is a type of threat that plays undesirable “music” over your speakers.
OPT (Oprah Persistent Threat) everybody gets a malwares.

OPT
Yeeeaaaahhh malwares.

PPT (PowerPoint Persistent Threat) a threat that displays the same three slides, over and over and over, always as “original material”. It’s the number one threat facing companies today.
QPT (Quantum Persistent Threat) is anything that might be a threat, but is unknown until you observe it. A QPT can also be referred to as Schrodinger’s Threat.
RPT (Rat Persistent Threat) a threat that summons a RAT army in your basement.
SPT (Super Persistent Threat) any threat coded by Tony Stark himself.
TPT (Threat Persistent Threat) a class of threat that persistently threatens you.
UPT (Unix Persistent Threat) threats that target Unix systems.

VPT (Very Persistent Threat) a threat that won’t stop asking for a date.
WPT (WordPress Persistent Threat) any WordPress instance that is connected to a corporate network.
XPT (Xzibit Persistent Threat) colloquially known as a dropper.

XPT
So you can malwares while you malwares.

YPT (YOLO Persistent Threat) a threat that shows dank memes to the user to encourage them to act dangerously or, succinctly put, “inspires them to live on the edge.”
ZPT (Zeus Persistent Threat) a threat that shoots lightning bolts from the USB ports on the affected machine in an attempt to electrocute the user.


We’re looking to get this research peer-reviewed – and ultimately patented – in the near future, so feel free present any constructive criticism.

Thank you for tuning in,
Nick Nickstrodamus Cano, Bromium Labs Head Psychic

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